New year, who dis?

At the beginning of the year, I started reading May Cause Miracles: A 40-Day Guidebook of Subtle Shifts for Radical Change and Unlimited Happiness. On one level, it’s a book about manifesting, which some might argue is woo-woo nonsense, but on another, more practical level, it’s helped me to shift my perspective and focus on love, gratitude, and self-forgiveness instead of fear. 

Recording and posting my first TikTok was one of the more nerve-wracking things I’ve ever done. What if my face looks old? What if somebody on the internet makes fun of me? What if nobody sees it, or worse, what if a lot of people see it? 

Instead, I received dozens of messages of support from friends, family, and coworkers, cheering me on, offering resources and advice, even putting me in touch with other writers or people in the publishing industry. I know one day, if I make it far enough, I will have to deal with negative reviews, criticism, and a grab-bag of internet meanness. But for now, in the relative safety of the beginning of my journey, it feels really good to know that my community is rooting for me to succeed. 

As I write this, I’m sitting with my cat Paloma on my lap, wearing my pink fuzzy robe and my comfortable new banana shirt (thanks, Chase), with Bob’s Burgers paused on the TV and my bullet journal at my side (one page filled out for each day of the year so far). I’m feeling tired, determined, and so so grateful. 

Thank you to everyone who has reached out with messages of support — you’re helping me make the miracle happen.